TGG Episode 1: What is Biblical Manhood?

Welcome to The Guy's Guide to Christian Living! This episode we discuss different facets of what Biblical Manhood/Masculinity is, and how that affects how men are supposed to carry themselves throughout day-to-day life.
 
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TGG Episode 1 Show Notes

• Start off the episode’s introduction by reading 1 Corinthians 16:13. And posing some questions for the listeners to think about while listening. “What does it mean to ‘act like a man’” and “From the Bible’s perspective, what does it mean to be a man?”
•  Remember that when reading a verse like this to start, it doesn’t matter if I am reading out of context. Because, the context of the verse is something we can discuss when going over that verse and/or others like it. 
• Once intro is finished, Cullen will ask something like “What is masculinity and does the Bible present a portrait of the ideal manly man?
•  Does the Bible conflict with your view of manliness?
• Some things to maybe think about: there are a lot of different men who play big roles throughout the story of the Bible. Some were great because they humbled themselves (Jesus), others were great because they were mighty warriors who slayed their enemies to protect Israel (King David). Why does the Bible seem to give praise to both types? Who are we supposed to become
• o  What about men who have a sort of identity crisis because they read these biblical stories, yet they are very different from those guys? More feminine (not an insult) guys, for example.
• Does the Bible support the idea of gendered roles, family and otherwise?
• Is it a good or bad thing to have roles that you are obligated to fill simply because of who you are? I didn’t get to choose whether I was born a boy or girl, it just happened. So, why should I conform to these restrictions?
• There are many articles written by people who believe gender roles do more harm than good to a society. How can we respond to this, or is it simply a case of “you live how you choose and I’ll just follow the Bible?
• There are several Bible verses that might be good to read on how each member of a family should act, and what their specific “roles” might entail.
• There are verses that say things like “In Christ there is no male or female, we are all one”. 
• Does this go against gendered roles. 
• If all people are equal, then do these roles make a husband and wife inherently unequal?
• Do fathers have to be the providers of the family? What if they are stay-at-home?
• I find that men often joke that it’s their wives that “wear the pants” and are in charge of the household. Is that the wrong way to be thinking about family life? Having this discussion feels so archaic compared to our modern culture. It feels so ancient and out-of-touch.
• Saying “the man is the head of the household” almost feels.. Wrong.
• Scriptures to read and meditate on:
• 1 Corinthians 16
• Ephesians 5
• 1 Timothy 2-3

Transcript

spk_1:   0:00
first currently in 16. Verse 13 says Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men and be strong. But the question today is, What does it mean to act like a man from the Bible's

spk_0:   0:12
perspective? What does it even mean to be a man? That's what we're gonna discuss and more on today's episode of The Guy's Guide to Christian Living. Let's get right

spk_1:   0:21
into it. All right, well, welcome to the first episode of the Guy's Guide to Christian Living. My name is common Wainwright, and I am joined by my good friend Trevor Gentry. Trevor, how you doing today? I'm

spk_0:   0:46
good, man. I just gotta got a little bit of ah, runny nose today, so I'm probably getting current

spk_1:   0:52
of ours. Oh, God, I hope not. I hope not. Um, I actually you know what's crazy about this whole thing before weaving kick off about this whole thing? Is that it? Even though it's affecting so many people, it still felt a little far away from me cause I didn't personally know anybody affected until last week, when finally, I say finally, but I don't really mean as in like, it's a good thing, but eventually someone a good friend of mine. I had a family member who got it, and that's a crazy situation. They had to go see the doctor. They were eventually, you know, able to go back home. But it's just kind of crazy how serious this thing really is. You know, everybody. It's scary.

spk_0:   1:39
Yeah. I don't actually know anybody that has it. Not to my knowledge. So, like, I don't even know if I know. I mean, I I guess Like, I know someone who knows someone has it. But that's, uh yeah, that. Yeah, well, regardless of lost jobs and

spk_1:   1:57
stuff Oh, I know. Regardless, it's something Thio I think we should all be praying about not just people with the virus itself, but you know, everybody who it's affecting indirectly. Yeah, for sure. So I'm Trevor. Why don't you? Ah, I guess I already said your name. But why don't you introduce yourself? Tell the audience a little bit about you. I know I talked about you a little bit and the little introduction I recorded, but why don't you give us kind of the the low down who you are, which do?

spk_0:   2:28
Um yeah, well again I'm Trevor Gentry. I live in Lubbock, Texas. So out of West Texas, where Texas Tech University is at and I I'm married to my wife, Tori. Ah, and no kids or anything like that. We, uh uh, yeah, I live out here. I moved here to work at a church, which I still work at now, as the college associate pastor at Indian Avenue about the searcher and loving. And, yes, I've been here for almost four years now, and and, uh, this is going really, really well. Ah, but yeah, that's that's kind of my situation. A little bit about me.

spk_1:   3:13
Four years. So it wasn't four years ago when we met. Was that your first year there? Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

spk_0:   3:21
Yeah, It's been a while. You know, like this this august, this august will be four years. So since I owe my lovemaking, will you live together that first year

spk_1:   3:31
where you have a four loving? It wasn't Grand Prairie. It was a grand.

spk_0:   3:34
Yeah. Yeah, very prairie in the Dallas Fort Worth area. That's where grew up and lived there until I was 21 moved here.

spk_1:   3:42
Where were you working before you jumped? into ministry.

spk_0:   3:45
Uh, I was working at Lou livid Lulu living. Oh, yeah, Yeah. There's a great job shout out to Lulu because they're actually still paying their all of their police right now. Really? They close. They closed all of their stores worldwide, and they're paying all their employees.

spk_1:   4:04
Yeah, I have a good friend who? Ah, actually, he works for Cole's and the coals near me. I don't know if Cole's everywhere have been shut down, but at least the coals that air near me are shut down and, yeah, there. He's still getting a paycheck every two weeks, and I'm like, Man, that's really cool. That's good on them. That's pretty awesome. All right. So kicking off the today's topic and I guess the first topic of the entire show is ah, what is biblical manhood? Kind of a little, I guess. A little bit, general. But I think you'd be a good way to kick off. Um, everything's gonna be talking about today and in the weeks to come. Right? So we're gonna touch a lot of different areas. Some, I guess, might be easy to talk about. Some a little bit more controversial. Ah, What I'm really interested Trevor, to learn what you think about. Kind of what? What does the Bible say about what it means to be a man? And when I asked that or when I say that I mean more than just the biological standpoint, right? Like, kind of what is what is supposed to be at the core that drives every Christian man toe live every day, Right? Um, so I and the introduction I read First Corinthians 16 13. I'll read it again right now. And that says, be watchful stand firm in the faith. Act like men be strong and then 14 right after that says little. You do be done in love and kind of where I want to take That is Trevor. What do you think it means when Paul and first Corinthians says something like, Act like a man?

spk_0:   5:54
Yeah. Um, well, I think it's important. Also, Say, like, if you're like, if your ah girl, maybe you're listening to this is still a pliable too. You are applicable because you wantto look for a guy like if you're if you're so single and you're looking for that person someone, a guy who exemplifies biblical manhood that anyways, So, uh, but yeah. What? That When I think what Paul says, act like men be strong. I think that that is what that isn't. I think that, like in our culture and our society, uh, being a van, Like when you when you hear someone say, like, be a man like you think, Hey, suck it up. You know, be a man toughening up. Don't cry like Ben don't like Peak, you know, stuff like that. Like, uh, like, being a man is like being good at sports and flirting with girls, you know, like, that's kind of growing up. That's like, uh, it seems to be the video. What kind of dad you have her father you have or don't have. That might be what you think, but yeah, biblical manhood. Ah, is ah, I think much different. Uh, and and, uh, it's not about showing off your physical strength or your emotional strength. I heard someone say once that the more that you project strength, the weaker that you actually probably are. Uh, really? Yeah. Ah, and, uh ah, I think it was I think it was Matt Chandler that said that I don't know if he's courting someone else. But But, yeah, I think you know, biblical manhood acting like a man. It's not trying to show off your your strength and your toughness and, you know, it's it's it's not those things. I think that go to read that passage from first for the and 16. Um, it's important that we read verse 14 as well after that because he says, you know, act like men. Well, he kind of gives the context of what it is to be a man around that he says, Stand firm in your faith and let all that you do be done in love s o. I think, according to this passage, ah, biblical masculinity, I guess, is another Another word we use for manhood but is standing firm in the faith like lead into Christ. Be strong, but your strength comes from the Lord and let everything that you do be in love. Uh and so I think that, like as a man we had this idea of, like, I'll never be broken like I'm so tough. I'm so strong. But part of being a man is actually recognizing that you are going to fall short like you are going to mess up. You are goingto have weakness. And that's when you continue to lead in the Jesus. And that's what really being a man is is realizing that you're not enough, that you do need Jesus. And you lied on him for strength. And then ultimately, I think what the court of being a man is. According you know, when I read this passage, especially is letting everything that you do be in love. So every action you take is done out of love, which is what Jesus did. I mean, obviously, the ultimate biblical example of being a man is Jesus. I mean, he's the perfect man, literally. And so everything that Jesus did was out of love, it for the father and for us and for the father's will. And so, yeah, so I think, you know, biblical manhood is is way different from what our culture has to say about being a man.

spk_1:   9:34
Yeah, and you know, I completely agree with you, but I think where a lot of people and even I can kind of get a hang up is I I read passages like this, and then I get that same context, and I look at Jesus teachings and not just what he said, but also you know what he did, how he lived. Um, but that's just it almost seems as if it's a little bit different. Ah, than how so many Old Testament characters air portrayed. Um, because if we take a look at, like King David or Gideon or countless other, you know, very powerful biblical men they are like these extremely, I guess. Strong willed, probably strong and, you know, physical stature as well. Where do you think you are? I guess kind of where I'm going with this is how can guys like me or any anybody else get over that hang up? It's almost a Ziff. Jesus is. And I understand that all these other guys and all tests were not perfect. But do you see where I'm going with this? It almost seems like we're talking about two different types of guys and it might go,

spk_0:   10:52
you're funny enough You mentioned David, Uh, and that was kind of one of his. His flaws and why he kind of kept screwing up was almost because he would let his his pride and his you know, manhood, takeover. But ultimately, we know that David was a man of God. He was calling a man after God's God's own heart. But, you know, David also played the harp and wrote poetry. And so, uh, you know, he had a very soft side to him as well. And I think that his his pride of being this powerful strong, you know, leader was was his downfall. Oftentimes, um, but yeah, but he also played the harp and he wrote poetry. So I think that, you know, we can look at a guy's like that the Old Testament, But we can also see how trying to be the man you know, uh, too much, uh, it would cause them to stumble. I like or even just, uh, a character like like Samson, who was the physically was the epitome of manly man. He was the strongest man to ever live on. He was just this guy who, you know, ladies would just fall for him immediately because of how strong and powerful he was. But yet that strong and powerful being that he was led him to become very prideful. And that was his downfall over and over and over again is because he would take this strength that God had given him and he would would rely only on himself. But what he didn't realize all along is that it wasn't his own strength. It was God that was giving him that strength. And so, you know, we can look at those Old Testament guys, but they all had because of their mainly nous, I guess, at times, yeah, cause them to stumble quite a bit. And so we see how that plays out for Samson. He is dying, but,

spk_1:   12:56
uh, um, yeah, definitely. And I think it while it might be confusing, cause something I wrote down in our show notes is what could a guy or what could a man do? Who reads those old old Testament stories of these, you know, big, strong men, and mm. How can they? What if they've seemed tohave a sort of identity crisis? Because they're not like that. Right? What would be your advice, too? And I guess you kind of touched on it a little bit that all these Old Testament figures had big flaws. Um, some of it was that they tried to rely on their masculinity too much. But ah, what would be your advice to someone who maybe looks the Bible and says I'm not like any of these famous people that this, you know, biblical story talks about?

spk_0:   13:50
Yeah. I mean, I would say again, I would say, Look, to look to the ultimate fulfillment of man that Jesus and look at his character on the way the he carried himself. Because ultimately we're We're not really We're not called to be like David or be like Moses. I mean, there's there's aspects of those men that we certainly want to have their men of God that we can learn from but who were called to be like and act like is Jesus. And we look at Jesus in the way that that he carried himself. Was he strong? Obviously, Yeah, he was God, but But his real strength that we want it exemplify what he calls us to is his spiritual strength. And he had moments of emotion emotionally where he you know, he exemplified great emotion of angst and and he wept. And so we know that he cried. So this idea that men shouldn't crying Oh Jesus, kind of steps on that. And so I think that we don't get too caught up in comparing yourself to these mighty Kings and warriors of the Old Testament because, you know, Jesus was a mighty king and warrior. But But we look at what we're called to be like. It's the fruits of the spirit. That is what makes a man of God a man of God as a man who exemplifies the fruits of the spirit that Jesus did perfectly. And obviously we've got to recognize that, you know, we're gonna have flaws. And that's again, you know, Paul says and first ready and stand firm in the faith. So we stand firm in the faith may well lead on Jesus because we know, like we're gonna have flaws. We're gonna have areas where we stumbled more often than others, and we're gonna have weaknesses. And we're gonna have to realize like I can't do this. I can't be the man. I can't act like a man without relying on Jesus. What you get is very cattle cultural because we bid, typically wanna trying to rely on themselves and carry the weight all on their own. But that's actually not biblical manhood.

spk_1:   15:57
Okay, so how would you kind of balance that with versus that? Say, you know, I think it's is it Ephesians or versus like, the man is the head of the household. Yeah, right. And so how? Like I said, how would you balance those two things Where well, if the man if you're as a guy, you're not supposed to be Quote the man, the big, strong one. But then it almost seems like the Bible says that you are supposed to be that

spk_0:   16:29
well, you are supposed to be like we're men are called to be, uh, like any time you see men and women within a marriage put, both are put in view and Scripture. There's always a difference of the rolls. And so, uh, it's it's clear that that not that women aren't leaders that they are called to be strong as well, or it can't be strong, but men specifically are called on to be leaders to be the head of the household. That's not what we get confused with. A lot of times, I think is what we read verses like that is, and that's that doesn't mean that you dominate the household that you are controlling that you are. You know it that you put down your your wife or your kids like no being being the head of the household is spiritually, it's leading it, Sze loving. It's supporting. It's protecting its providing like and providing not just not financially necessarily, but spiritually more than anything. So I think that being the head of the household, that that's not really talking about physical strength or, you know, be this big, strong guy. But it's, you know, are you leading your family like Are you leading your family the way that Christ leads the church? Because that's what those passages air are ultimately compared to is how Jesus treats us. So again, it really does tie back in to Jesus because the marriage is supposed to exemplify Christ in the church. And so how does Christ lead the church? And how does Christ provide for the church? And how does Christ protect the church? And so Ah, yeah, this idea of being the head of the house or what I think is really easy to to look at that and go, I need to I need to convince my household I need toe. Make sure I need to make sure my wife is doing what she's supposed to be doing. It's like, No, that's That's not exactly what it say. Uh, but Betty, many times that is taken out of context. And there are a lot of men who well, you know whether they're doing it, because the Bible says it or not, they would twisted it, had this very dominating, you know, controlling household. And I don't think that that exemplifies Christ. Yeah, leading is different from dominating and controlling.

spk_1:   18:47
Do you or would you say that? And, ah, family context of familial context. Would you say that men are called to be the breadwinner of the family?

spk_0:   19:03
You know, I think, uh, we look at the type of the are the culture in which of these things were written. Ah, mid kind of had to be the breadwinner, Uh, because women at that time and a lot of cultures women, women weren't really allowed to work or have jobs. Uh, we don't live in that kind of society anymore. Um, and there's never a place specifically where I don't think in Scripture where it says as a man, you need to make all the money in the house or you need to make more money that I don't think there's a Scripture that says that.

spk_1:   19:41
Well, uh, I do have I'm sorry if I just kind of trailed away from you. So kind of the first verse that comes to mind when I ask a question like that. Its first Timothy, 58 And I'm not trying to put you on the spot here. Anything but the reason why I thought of that is because this is what 1st 75 8 says. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Right? So that's yeah, why, you know, that's where that question

spk_0:   20:13
kind of eyes it from. Yeah, it says provide, but I don't think that's ah say sole provider. It also doesn't say specifically what what all that entails. I think we have to do a little bit more study into yeah, interpreting. You know how much that's financial. But again, so sole provider is not said there, and also again, if you look at the context of first Timothy uh, written as a letter, Uh, from Paul to Timothy. Completely different culture, right? Like women. Literally. We're not allowed to work. Yeah, on So But I think that now it's It is different. Like my wife has a job, and she makes as much as I do, actually. Honestly, right now, she she makes a little bit more than I do. And so,

spk_1:   21:02
uh oh, no. Trevor. Yeah. Wow, that.

spk_0:   21:05
Yeah, it's crazy, right? But it's like a big reason why she makes more than he is, cause, you know, God has called me and said ministry. And right now where he has be planted and serving, uh, I'm provided for like I, uh, like God has provided for us. But just the reality is as ministry if you don't go into ministry to make money. Uh, especially not as an associate. College faster. Uh, and so, you know, there's a pregnant you're not

spk_1:   21:32
rolling in the dough.

spk_0:   21:34
Yeah, you know, we're honestly, we're comfortable, Like God has provided s incredibly Ah, And so there's, you know, there's a good chance that my wife a depending on what kind of you know how her career goes and what jobs she could. She might always make more money than me. I don't know. I mean, you know, one day, if I if I have the lead pastor of a church, and they wantto financially bless me, like suddenly, pastors are like, Yeah, I could make it a decent living, but but yeah, so do I. But I still provide for my wife. Like, if I didn't have my job, uh, we wouldn't build to make ends meet. But we do carry that load. Uh, pretty equally, for the most part. But that's awesome. But I'm called to provide for her and more ways than just financially. Like do I do I provide for her spiritually as a leader? Do I make her feel safe? Do I protect her? What? I protect her. Obviously the answer is yes. But there's so many ways to provide, you know, emotional support, spiritual support, growth, leadership. There's all kinds of ways to provide for your household and and also it's It's as a man like if if I had to, like if my wife got sick, I work three jobs if I have to tear provide. So I think it's also this idea of like as a man. Financially speaking, are you providing what you need to like? And are you willing to do whatever it takes? And the answer for me is absolutely Yes. Like if my wife lost her job or if she got sick or if, you know, while she was pregnant, she was You know, if she were to get pregnant, she was You had a pretty rough pregnancy, like a literally outwork 18 hours a day if I had to, Between multiple jobs and so But right now we're in a position where that doesn't have to be the case and a table for that. Um, but as a man, you are called to provide for your household. But it is different in our culture than for what it was in the culture of the day. That first Timothy and other passages were being written. It just completely different times.

spk_1:   23:38
Um, you know, I've heard lots of guys. Now I'm just gonna throw it out there. I'm not married like you are not happily married. I am single, so I don't have the experience you do with this. Um but I will say I've heard it joked about a lot of times just over and over and over again. That ah, in the household. It's the wife who's really in charge, Not not the guy, right? And, Ah, something that comes to mind when I think of that is an old and old Have you ever watched building ball? Yeah, OK, it's an old special. I don't know if it's stolen Netflix or not, but, ah, he told a joke. That was Ah, when him and his wife got married, they made a deal. It was she would handle all the easy decisions, and he would handle all the hard ones. And he said to that day, however many years later, they had a hard decision yet and, ah, as funny as that is, does that does that seem to be going against what the Bible teaches? And I guess I'm kind of putting you on the spot here, too. Plant your flag somewhere. But if ah, what do you say about that?

spk_0:   24:53
Um, yeah, I think that there is a, uh I think it's it's a it's kind of a running joke. Like, uh, yeah, let me check with my boss, You know, like, uh and so yeah, I think that there there are certain aspects of that that are definitely I think true. Funny enough of my mom actually saying at Billy Angle's wedding Random story, Uh, what? Yeah, Yeah, Super weird. Uh

spk_1:   25:17
uh. You have to tell me about that sometime later. Yeah,

spk_0:   25:21
but many ways. Yeah, I think you like it when it comes to making small decisions, like, uh, so I think I talked about our ah secular Saturday episode like I played the Indian Ah, super charity game. But like when I make plans to play D and D, you know, it's it's gonna take up a whole Friday evening or Saturday evening, you know, four or five hours that I go to my friend's house and we all play. And so But before I do that, like, I always joke like, yeah, let me check my boss first. Like I'm not gonna make those plans without checking with my wife. Because again, I think part of being a man is considering, You know, when you when you get married, you could become one with your wife. You know, you want to consider her and everything that you do it. So you those small decisions, but like, Yeah, I mean, like, if my wife ah, was like, No, I really want to spend time with you. Uh, I'm gonna I'm gonna listen to her because I wanna I wanna sacrifice time with my friends if I needed to spend time with my wife, it so But, yeah, there's, like, this joke of, like, the wife kind of leads the household, but But when it comes to, I guess the big, important decisions I think that you make those decisions together, but I can tell you like my household, like ultimate, like my my wife will trust me to lead on those decisions. Like where we're currently building a house which, you know, buying a house is a big decision, but I kind of initiative. I originally I initiated that discussion and kind of lead that Ah, that journey. But we made that decision together, But ultimately, like when it comes to a lot of those decisions like my wife after we talk about it like she trusts me too Thio to move forward with those kind of decisions. And so, uh, like, uh, I would say, like, I'm the head of the household But at the same time, I consider my wife and everything that I do And when it comes to smaller things like honestly, yeah, she's my boss, like I'm not gonna ah like. So, yeah, so it's a bit of truth to it, But when it comes to, like overall, like how it's like my wife, trust me to lead her when it comes to a little things like before I go buy a pair of shoes like Like I'll be like on noting to check with my with my agent first call. Stay stuff like that. And so, um, I would say, head of the household in every way, biblically. But that means a lot. There's that could be yes. So that running kind of joke, I guess there is a bit of truth to that. Yeah, when you get married, you'll see. I'm

spk_1:   28:01
sure I will, Um, are as we're getting close to wrapping up here, I do have one final question. Um, and if we don't have enough time to dig fully into it, that's fine. We'll save it for another episode. But, um, would you say or what? Do you agree with the statement that the Bible supports the idea of gendered roles, especially in the family. But in general, like men should be doing this. Women should be doing this.

spk_0:   28:31
Uh, yeah, I think, uh, within within context. I mean, I think I said earlier, but any time in Scripture, particularly in the New Testament, when used to be both the male and female, put like in view. So, like when there's a passage is talking about the man and the woman t air there. There's always a difference of roles like God always gives distinction. Ah, between man and woman. Now, to be clear, I think that you have to pair that with, like, God gives distinction, not in equality. And so

spk_1:   29:09
I got here is rolling your way to put it.

spk_0:   29:11
God gives rolls to men and women, but they're not unequal. The roles air both equally valuable because we know that are equal and the eyes of Christ. But within that different roles, different colleagues, there's distinction. So does this mean that you know, women can't be leaders? No, it just means that men, I think, must be leaders on, So, uh, yeah, yeah. And also, when it comes to a man being a good leader. A lot of the times men don't become good leaders without having a good mother to help raise them. I mean, the so the that is the truth. The woman's role was extremely valuable. Justus Valuable is the man's. But there is definitely distinction. I think the Bible definitely supports gender rules. So, like when you look at cautions 3 18 or 19 or Ephesians 5 22 3 2031 Definitely a distinction. But, um, but that's not a inequality. It's just a difference.

spk_1:   30:16
I will say I want us and listeners to keep this topic this particular topic in mind because there is MME. Or that I want to talk about in regards to it, and I'll give kind of a tease. Galatians 3 28 says. Let's see here there is neither Jew nor Greek. There's neither slave nor free. There is no male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus and we are not. We don't have time to jump into it today, but, um, I think I'm gonna have some questions about what that means in regards to specific conversation. Yeah, let's keep that in mind and is, you know, stuff. Like is Paul being literal here? What does that mean? That there's no male or female and all that good stuff. So well, that brings us to the ending of our first episode. Finally, our first episode Been trying to this for so long. Thank you all so much for listening. Trevor, Thank you for joining me. Uh, yeah, I hope I didn't. I hope I didn't rush you home from your little lunch date. Oh, no, no,

spk_0:   31:25
no. We were actually at home for lunch. Okay,

spk_1:   31:30
Um, real quick. Just a quick message to listeners. Uh, if you feel we deserve a rating, whatever it is, please give us the rating and write a review. We would love to read it to see how we can improve the show. Um, and also, ratings help us get onto the new and noteworthy section of apple podcasts. This would be just absolutely fantastic. Toe help this show grow and to reach as many people as possible once again. Thank you all so much for listening and have a good one. We'll see you next time.

spk_0:   32:10
Okay? Okay.